teenagers and three year olds...

The doctor has left us on our own for two days now and as I write this, she is 487. we just gave her a half a unit of insulin. we will recheck her in an hour to see how much she has gone down.

Earlier today, at afternoon snack, she was down to 68. we tried skittles for a change, but not fast enough acting. she dropped further to 64 after 15 minutes! I then grabbed the smarties and fifteen minutes later, she was back up to 126.

Teenager is playing music on her wii in the background as I type. I think it is Radiohead.

My husband and I went to Red Robin tonight for dinner. My mom babysat with our eldest daughter. I trained my mom to check our daughter's blood before we left. we also gave her a snack and checked her. She was 219.

I am thinking that she jumped so high because she still had a snack at bedtime even though she was 219. but 487 is pretty high.

argh!!!

I'm definitely calling the doctor tomorrow to chat with her about this roller coaster again. she was steady for a few days. we were caught and released. and now back at the fairgrounds.

Earlier today I was shelving a new book about diabetes that a friend had given to me. I put in on the bookshelf between all my other books on learning disabilities. It's funny how so much of my life was devoted to studying about learning disabilities and learning styles and autism and sensory processing disorders. I used to be ready to educate anyone I met about misconceptions of dyslexia and ADD. Now I have become a type 1 diabetes advocate.

It's strange trading a 17 year old for a 6 year old and a 3 year old. It's like two lives in one. We have friends that only had one child or two close together and now they are almost empty nesters! We would have been empty nesters at 38!!

It's almost hard to remember our teenager as a three year old. It seems like a whole life ago. We traveled so much with her and did so much with her school and her friends and friends' families. choir, soccer, school performances. outdoor ed. Disneyland. horseback riding. Palm Springs. Big Bear. India. Santa Barbara.

and now that whole chapter is closing. She is getting ready to head off to college. Until she was in fifth grade, she was an only child. She and I used to watch movies together every Friday night and order pizza. We used to have dinner parties with her friends' families. Huge birthday parties in the summer, swimming, then camping out in our backyard. I'm so busy now with all of the little kids that I hardly have time to stop and think about how special she is and all the special things we did together. But soon she will be moved out and I will suddenly remember all that I am missing.

She has grown into my helper and friend. I don't have much time to meet her needs anymore. But I did. and my bookshelf is a testimony of our journey together. Our photo albums lined up under all of my non fiction books.

The other day I was able to spend the afternoon with her and we weeded out her closet and dresser drawers together. It was a fun time. I love to organize and she needed to organize. We were able to talk and reminisce as we found different neglected but treasured items tucked in her closet.

God gave us eleven special years. At the time, we wanted siblings for her but now I see that we were able to do so much with her that now we can't. Each child brings their own needs with them. and with every child added to the family, more needs and less I can provide for each child.

so tomorrow my teenage daughter is going to help a teacher friend of ours at Saturday school. She is great with kids. and I will be calling the doctor to consult about our little sweeties ups and downs.

two different paths now but occasionally we meet in the middle for a latte and American Idol.