a drink of milk

I was reminded tonight of when my sweetie was in the NICU.

She was born 7 weeks early. 4 pounds 15 ounces. actually a good size for 7 weeks early. she had to learn to eat. she had a tube that ran through her nose down to her tummy. we would use a syringe to put milk into her tubing to feed her. as she got better at tolerating the milk, she progressed to a little bottle.

she had to be fed on a strict schedule in the NICU. we would arrive to feed her. we would wash our hands then get her from her sleep and change her diaper. then we would sit down and try to keep her awake to drink. we had to watch how much she drank and keep waking her to eat. we would summon the nurse to watch us and make sure that she had had enough.

when the nurse felt she had drank enough, we would then burp her and cuddle her and tuck her back into her bassinet. several wires and monitors still attached. she would be reconnected to machines and properly swaddled and propped and then left to sleep again.

Tonight, I was doing the same thing with my now, 3 1/2 year old daughter. same daughter, just 3 1/2 years later. now diabetic. no longer a preemie.

I went to check her readings at 1130 pm. she was 132. Right now if she is under 180, we are supposed to give her a snack to safely ensure her slumber through the rest of the night.

She is sleeping soundly, all snuggled in her blankets. Last night she did not want to stay in bed, tonight she fell sound asleep, quickly. I hate to disturb her. she agrees.

I gently rub her back and try sitting her up to drink some milk. I place the cup to her lips and the cup slides right off. she slumps in my arms and longs to be laid back down again.

I lay her back down and rub her back, trying to wake her a bit. I hold the cup to her mouth again. she takes a few sips and any willingness to drink leaves her again. She had drank about 2 ounces, if I am lucky. That is about 3 carbs. Not close to the 15 gram snack she should have to raise her blood sugar levels.

what am I to do? The concern is: if I leave her, she could drop further in the night and we would be asleep. so I type. I am waiting to check her again. and try milk again. I debate taking in apple juice, because less quantity would be needed to raise her sugar levels. But as we know now, simple sugar would not sustain her through the night. quick fix and back right where we started in an hour. and 132 is not low. It's just not as high as we want her for us to sleep comfortably for the rest of the night.

I wanted to watch Anthony Bourdain, so I think I will start the show and wait to check her again...this is why I am so tired...my husband is sound asleep, and here I am waiting and typing.

I watch the Duggars tonight. 19 children. On this episode, several of their children were sick at once. Mom Michelle said that she had to give love to each sick child and then go carefully take care of the youngest baby who was a preemie too. There preemie just turned one. She was born around 23 weeks. I think. so she still looks awfully little for one.

I thought, "How does she do it with 19 children?" But she has a lot of teenage helpers with all of the little ones. That's how she does it. Lots of teenagers still at home being homeschooled helping with chores and taking care of the younger kids.

well, its now midnight. she won't drink anymore milk but I checked her again and she miraculously jumped to 150. closer. under 130 is mandatory 15 g. under 180, good idea. she is getting close.

Now I want to go to bed. I am getting really tired. Eyes are starting to squint at computer screen. haven't been able to change tv channel yet. husband left on some fishing expedition show. not deadliest catch but something on planet earth.

I'm going to attempt to get her to take another drink. wish me luck.

I'm back. she, at first, refused. Then she finally took the cup from me and took a few good sips. I will recheck her in fifteen more minutes.

171.

close enough for government work.

I'm going to bed.