the lion's den

I was asked tonight; how have I taught my children courage? what does it take to be a courageous parent?

I want to ask: Do we have a choice?

Those of us with diabetic children; do we really have a choice? Can we fall apart in front of our little sweeties that are looking up to us and depend on us to keep them healthy, to keep them alive?

If we aren't sure, how can they be sure? If we don't tell them that they will survive and be okay? who will?

Our little children carrying a burden that they shouldn't have to carry, were never given the choice to be brave. they just had to be.

people ask me how she is handling the shots. people say that someday she should get used to the shots and it will get better.

she already is handling the shots well. again, she didn't have a choice whether she would tolerate the shots well or not.

there was a brief moment that we were sitting in our pediatrician's check up room waiting to see our doctor about her bladder infection. that brief moment while we sat waiting for the urine results. we sat in the room. myself on the small cushioned chair with the hard metal back and my sweetie on my lap. that brief moment that was to be her last before the new identity was placed on her. As soon as the doctor saw the numbers in her urine; the very first meter appeared. with her first finger prick to check her blood sugar level. and from then on, it never stopped.

At the arrival at the hospital, she was immediately finger pricked again, then several blood tests were performed, then an IV was inserted, then insulin shots were started. and here we are today.

Insulin shots were started before her official diagnosis was confirmed. They knew; but we were still in shock, crisis mode, waiting to find out if they were wrong. but those insulin shots confirmed it. we just weren't as convinced yet. we were still on the naive, hopeful side.

so how is it that I am courageous? How do I hold it together? the alternative is unthinkable. you, as a parent. me, as a parent. want to stay on the hopeful side. we choose to be courageous even in bleek situations because we will always keep our hope for our child to survive.

I recently read an article about a boy that was terminally ill in the hospital and the insurance or doctors recommended to discontinue life support. Basically the insurance decided that it was too expensive to continue to keep him alive. The parents didn't want to discontinue life support. This became quite a news story, raising the question, who has the right to decide when all hope is gone. Again, courageous parents because they believed that their child could still live. they weren't ready to give up.

Again, I think outsiders label this as courageous because they don't want to go through what you are. they want your situation to remain foreign and insurmountable and that you must be a superhero, because that way it remains untouchable for them.

When my other daughter had awakened from surgery to find herself in a body cast, she didn't have a choice either. she had to be brave. There were times when she got angry and wanted out of her cast and tried in her 3 year old understanding to pry her cast off with her fingers. But when she had tobe propped in a wheel chair and taken to the doctor's office, she requested her special blanky, her jacket, her mittens, and motioned to go. she actually earned the nickname "e the brave" during that time period, because it was amazing what she had to endure. But what amazes me is how kids adapt to their circumstances. By the end of the time in her cast, she was propped on the floor on a blanket doing puzzles with Gramma. we also figured out that we could lay her on her front side on the kitchen counter and let her play in the sink water. Something that may not normally be really exciting for a child but now it was.

Their circumstances have changed and they have to adapt to survive. The basic will to survive makes us courageous. This courage is our hope.

Daniel had to first enter the Lion's den to learn that he would indeed be okay and live to tell about it.

In the Bible, Daniel was brave because he put God first in his life. Some jealous men made a law that it was illegal to pray. Daniel broke the law because he honored God's law first. He was brave because he was doing what was right in his mind. He was following God's law.

He then found himself sentenced to ending his life in a den full of hungry lions. He knew that he was honoring God so he bravely entered his soon to be fate. But then God did something amazing and shut the mouths of the lions! The lions couldn't harm Daniel! Daniel was now in what he thought was a situation that could have ended horribly for him, but it didn't! He now could look back on his composure and be proud of himself that he didn't enter kicking and screaming. He walked in with faith and was rewarded.

Kind of like a diabetes diagnosis. at some point, you realize that it can be manageable. there are always dangers lurking around you but a lot of times those dangers have been tamed and disciplined so that we can sit down and rest right beside them.

We never know what trials we may be asked to face but with faith we will soon learn that we can face them all.