today I went to trader joes. I went for a new loaf of bread. I instinctively check labels now, whether I need to or not. I can almost guess carbs already just after one week of being handed this responsibility. half a cup of milk is 7 grams. granola bar is 19 g.
I gathered several items and then headed to the checkout. she was friendly and young, ready to ring me up. she asked me if I found everything okay. I asked about stevia. a sugar substitute. i wasn't sure how to use it but I was told about it. i felt I should buy it and have it in the cupboard and therefore again up my dutiful mom responsibility to a diabetic child.
she didn't know that's why I needed it. again, who knows how old I look or what life experience I wear on my face. the man behind me said that he saw stevia plants at green thumb in the aisle with herbs. well I didn't want to harvest stevia. I just wanted it in my cupboard so that I could check that off my list.
she rang the bell two times at the register and an employee arrived with two choices of stevia. I said I needed the kind to bake with. then I started to ask her if she knew how to cook with it. she said that the label said to replace sugar with this much stevia. but I said how do you count the carbs of a cake you are baking? how does that change? then I said my daughter is diabetic and I was told that stevia was good to bake with. then she looked at me and said "oh did you just find out?" and I said that we had just come back from the hospital and I was picking a few things up. and then I began to picture my little petite sweety pie that my daughter is. just 3 and curly brown hair and wide smile and sparkling eyes and such cute clothes as the nurses had commented as they had put in an IV.
The trader joes employee didn't have this picture in her mind. she could have imagined a sturdy ten year old or a competent 13 year old for all I know. all I know is she didn't know my little sweetie that was slowly dying until the doctor noticed her sugar levels and had her rushed to the hospital.
I began to feel tears come and took my package and left.
stevia.
so innocent yet so full of pain.
Jennifer, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Again, my heart goes out to you and I will pray for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteAs for Stevia, we just tried it for the first time and liked it. I used some packets in coffee. However, we have been using Splenda (or the less expensive generic brands from Albertsons or Walmart) It's great to bake with. While it will lower the carbs some, we always have to remember to count the carbs from the flour. But it bakes well. You'll notice a slight difference in texture, but nothing major.
thank you. kim
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