Our sweetie pies

Our sweetie pies

Saturday, February 26, 2011

outdoor heaters

The heaters turn on in the fields at night. This is our signal that it is really cold outside.

We live in a place where it doesn't snow and we rarely even need a jacket. we can go from summer through november without even thinking about bringing a jacket along. Then we go through a transition period of freezing at night because we still didn't think to bring a jacket. Then we start bringing jackets to be prepared at night and pretty soon its late spring and we don't need jackets anymore.

well, tonight, the heaters are going. they were on at 930 pm, when I came home from running errands. Usually the heaters don't come on until closer to midnight. But our outdoor thermometer right now reads 36 degrees. This is pretty cold for Southern California.

what I like about hearing these heaters is that it is different and comforting. Not many people get to hear these warming machines as our house is on the edge of many crop producing fields. Even in our city, we are among the elite. Lots of oranges and lemons are being grown and if they all froze it would be damaging to the farmers livelihood. hence the heaters. we have heaters in our homes to stay warm. so the oranges and lemons do outside too.

Laying in bed at night hearing the low roaring of the machines, reminding me its cold outside, but the produce is warm, makes me feel not so alone. I feel like the farmers are out there tending their crops as a shepherd tends his sheep. I feel like the heaters are telling us that all is well outside in the cold, dark, night. they are watching out for us. Its a lullaby.

these heaters are our familiarity. This is our norm.

like diabetes.

I realized today, looking at all of the bottles of insulin in my refrigerator, that these will never be gone. usually you get a prescription for an antibiotic to treat an illness like bronchitis, finish the round of antibiotics and throw them away. done. all better. butter shelf is back to only butter. no more medications.

but not with diabetes.

all the ups and downs we will experience, everyday or every hour, or every week. will always be. this will be our norm. our norm will be blood sugar 236 at morning snack and maybe 98 at afternoon snack. 320 at midnight, 187 at seven am?

we will be in the class of the elite. the experienced, the knowledgeable, the special few, that are entrusted with these bodies that work differently.

Heaters or snow?

I don't know.

can diabetes ever be a good thing?

my dad had pulmonary fibrosis. I used to tell him that its just a new challenge. A new way to be used in life. Joni earikson Tada started her ministry and really living life AFTER she became paralyzed. Am I being asked to embrace my own words?

I am not the diabetic, but the responsibility is on my shoulders right now, until she is older and can care for herself. but I'm sure I will always be concerned about her health and her diligence.

God calls us to our own challenges. we have been called to many already. Almost as if God is testing my own words. teaching me more humility everyday.

With God all things are possible. and having lived on both sides, I would never live without God on my side again. and if God is calling us to enrich our lives with diabetes. then I accept the challenge.

Tears still well in my eyes when I say "diabetes". It is so real and permanent when I admit it. But I can't turn my back and question, why us? God has given us this life and it is my duty to live it. To use my talents.

So, I embrace the heaters. I love the roar of the machines and knowing that we are protected and safe and because of those heaters, we can enjoy a fresh glass of orange juice.

or at least we can.

my daughter will have her carb free water.

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