Today was slow. we were in jammies until noon. Last night our diabetic sweetie didn't want to go to sleep. she kept coming back out to the living room with another reason that she couldn't stay in bed. more water. new book. had to go potty. more blankets. at long last she stayed and fell asleep and my older daughter woke me up on the couch. "what time is it?!" I said. It was 1130 pm. I had fallen asleep during Restaurant Impossible. My favorite new show. If you haven't seen the show, a renegade chef that must have been a body builder before he got in touch with his feminine side and decided to cook for a living assesses a failing restaurant and revamps it in two days. It's fun to watch him order all the food on the menu and then be unhappy with all of it. He then notices how dirty the restaurant is or how unworkable the decor is. Then he critiques the employees and then rebuilds.
Is this a metaphor for my life now? I was plugging along thinking everything was going well again. I thought I knew what topics needed attention right now and prayer. Then a chronic disease was thrown at us. If I had been handed a deck of cards with three cards to pick of the next coming disaster. diabetes would not have one of them. maybe flu, family member crisis. new dissapointment. but definitely not disease.
There is no show for Life impossible where you get advice to stop what you are doing because its a current trainwreck and then be shown how to start over. But actually that is what happened years ago. for those of us Christians thats what Christ can do in your life. I was saved when I was 27. my life was quickly unraveling and after feeling fairly confident that Christianity was definitely NOT for me and Buddhism fit much nicer for my life, God became very real to me and changed everything about me. so you never know. everything that happens in our lives can be God rearranging us, forcing us onto his path that is less traveled.
so back to our sweetie...I checked her at midnight and she was fine. Then at five am she wet her bed again. this should subside but still occurs since diabetes took over.
then she slept in until 930 am! normally she is up at 7 am. I checked her. she was breathing. but tired. so when she woke up I checked her right away. actually I had to find her first. I went to check on her at 930 am, thinking it was getting late for her to keep sleeping and found her bed empty. I began to silently panic as I went from bathroom to bathroom looking for her. she wasn't in the living room, kitchen...our home is NOT that big! where could she have gone?! I finally found her slumped down on the floor leaned up against my bed hugging her blanky, looking sleepy eyes. I said "what are you doing in here?! Are you okay?!" she looked at me and gave me a huge tooth filled smile and giggled while she continued to stroke her blanky. (rolling of the eyes. Mama...that is...)
we got through the day with good levels and food and lots of imaginary play with brother and sister. They were mermaids swimming around the livingroom, then campers in the backyard, then break for Mickey Mouse clubhouse.
Dinner was brought to us by a good friend from KFC. We haven't had KFC since last time she brought it to us when our baby was born! So special treat. we all ate well and then got everyone ready for bed. The balloons from Sharkys are still floating around our house and became quite a bedtime routine distraction. we kept trading kids and getting jammies on to then find someone running down the hall laughing and bumping balloons into the air with their hand. then the occasional crash. into each other. or a piece of furniture.
Then our sweetie was found by the cereal cupboard amidst all the running and laughing. She was looking distressed and grabbing her tummy saying she was "super hungry..." "suuper huuungryyy..." I said "Let me check your bedtime levels then I can give you a snack." my first try didn't work. we couldn't get enough blood out of the one finger we tried. I then got sidetracked with the other children. I finally came back to her and tried again. This time her level read. I expected somewhere in the 200's maybe 100's as she has been running recently. She was 62.
For those of you non diabetic saavy people, 62 is bad. if she dropped lower, she could pass out. need a big shot that is kept in a special orange case tucked away in a ziploc bag in our cupboard. we've been trained. we saw the video of the woman forgetting to eat and passing out. we know to lay her on her side if we give her the shot because she might throw up when she wakes up. We don't want to give this shot. we would probably have to silently draw straws before we reacted if we found her lying on the floor. thank goodness that was not the case.
I quickly called the doctor. we have her pager. I call the doctor once a day for close monitoring. but she knew this was not our scheduled time, so she called back immediately. I was afraid my daughter was going to pass out as I was talking to the doctor. The doctor said "no more monkeys jumping on the bed." no no. "she said quick give her simple sugar (smarties or apple juice) then recheck her in 15 minutes. if her blood sugar is up then give her 30 g carbs, basically another meal with no insulin.
I silently was panicking. kids were still squealing in background and a cloud closed in around me. like in a movie when the camera focuses in on the character and the sound goes quiet. you can still see all the action behind the main character but not hear anything else. your attention is directed to just what the main character is going through. that was me. I was the main character. everything depended on me in a sudden turn of events. just when I thought I was comfortable with our diabetic routine. a snake was thrown into the pit I had been safely standing in. a cobra or rattlesnake. not a garder snake.
I quickly measured and poured apple juice for her and handed it to her. I tried to lightly say "here! you finally get to drink apple juice again! here! drink! " Like the note said to Alice in Wonderland. "it will make you better!" bigger, smaller, whatever.
she wouldn't drink it. she fell back on the floor, squirming, and crying.
she was hungry, not thirsty.
doctor said yes, of course. she is very hungry. offer her the smarties.
"here" I say. "eat this!" like the disguised witch tempting snow white. "eat" isn't this apple beautiful?" where do these stories come from? or like Eve being tempted with the apple in the garden of Eden. "Eat!" said the snake. I know you want it. (first recorded peer pressure?)
however, she didn't want anything. I thought, "Am I going to have to grab a tube of frosting and smear it inside her cheek?"
Then she slowly sat up and walked to her little table. I laid the smarties out in front of her and again, said "Eat." "here, eat" nice. calm. pleasant. they are yummy. yes its okay. eat. pleeeeeasee!! I silently begged.
she ate. one at a time. slowly. purposefully, slight trembling. I watched anxiously as she chewed each smartie. 14. then 13. then 12. okay 11 to go. "you can do it" I silently encouraged her.
She was down to four left that she had arranged in a square. I watched the clock for 15 minutes to pass and at the second grabbed her meter and retested her.
206!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
touch down!. or hallelujiah, or goal!, whichever you prefer. (big sigh of relief)
okay everyone, you can back away now. everythings okay. there's nothing to see here.
I then fixed her almost 30 more grams of carbs to eat. a bowl of cheerios with milk. she began to come back to her normal self and enjoy every bite. now her sister and brother are suddenly hungry too at 8 at night and now we have three kids with balloons at their feet, eating bowls of cheerios with milk. because you never know. must be sympathy pains. (or an excuse to stay up) I guess I will never know.
Everyone's in bed asleep now, minus the teenager and us. Daddy is watching a documentary on Egypt, teenager is taking the recycle out and mom is doing something at that computer again.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:25-27
I read this, just hours before her sugar low.
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