never forget

People often ask us how our son is doing.  They want to let us know that they care.  They assume that our son is better now.  They say since we went to the hospital and are home now, things must be okay now.  Right??

I was showing my new tattoo to my brother in law today.  It is a diabetes awareness ribbon with two blood drops.  One drop for my daughter, one for my son.  The ribbon became the angel's body and wings sprout from the ribbon and then topped off with a halo and the words that encircle it, "you will never walk alone, Psalm 145." 

I was sharing with him how I felt God had directly reassured me that he would always protect and take care of my daughter the day after I went running down the church hall to revive her from dropping to low and passing out. 

He asked "why the tattoo?"  I told him how I had to go back to work right after being in the hospital with my little 3 year old son.  I am and was still dealing with shock, almost PTSD with the reality that I now had a second memory in my mind of another child frantically being driven to the hospital, hoping that he was okay and wouldn't be transported by ambulance once we arrived at the hospital to a more comprehensive hospital in Los Angeles. 

I had to go back to work and not talk about what I was experiencing.  I taught Algebra, not diabetes awareness.  I felt neglectful.  I felt guilty not obsessing about the well being of my son and daughter every minute.  With two diagnosis, I was overwhelmed.  afraid that I would forget to check one of their blood sugar levels or let down my guard and something bad might happen.  So I got the tattoo.  In a visible spot on my arm so others would have to see it and ask about it.  I would be forced to keep my children in the forefront of my mind.  To never forget the battle we are now commissioned to fight.  To keep them alive and healthy.  and educate when ever we get the chance. 

Type 1 and type 2 are distant relatives.  Their pancreas' are dying.  It isn't their diet.  it isn't too much sugar.  It is an auto immune disease.  and their pancreas is dying.  they are insulin dependent.  They can't eat without a shot and can't sleep a full night without having their blood checked to see their sugar levels. 

my hands were already full.  so I ask God to take control.