Our sweetie pies

Our sweetie pies

Thursday, September 29, 2011

facing my fears

Today was one week from when we just had our big scary incident of our sweetie very quietly laying down and falling asleep. at a time that she shouldn't have fallen asleep. In the middle of a play group full of fun and crafts and outside playtime. The doctor still says that it wasn't low blood sugar yet everything but her number of 127 said low blood sugar.

I couldn't wake her up.

When we walked down the hallway today, on our way to their group, We were met by one of the other leaders that is a nurse. She came down to speak with us about what had happened last week. She had also come to make sure that the leaders were comfortable this week about working with our sweetie.

I am very thankful that they were willing to take care of her again this week. If I were one of them, I might have said, "no way!" This is way too much to deal with. Instead they were willing to be educated today and have a plan of action if something were to happen again.

Praise God for that!

I feel dumb that my cell phone was dead last week and made a point to show them that my phone was indeed charged this week. We were educated about worst case scenario yet we were starting to get lax about being fully prepared. I figured that I was there and it would be easy to handle if something happened.

Now I know how fast things can turn. I don't know exactly what went wrong last week. All I can figure is that I gave her too much insulin for her snack before I took her in. Or the combination of her fall and playing and not having an additional snack was too much. I don't know for sure. I have to give myself grace. I can't beat myself up about what I should have done or could have done. I still have to deal with diabetes again and again every hour, every day for the rest of her life. I can't afford the luxury of time to spend pondering anything at this stage.

When my dad died years ago, it was one of the most heartbreaking events that I have been through. What sustained me through it though was knowing that everytime I became sad and missed him and thought of the tragedy that he was gone; God reassured me over and over that my Dad was with him and it was his time.

This is exactly how I reconcile these current events too. Last Thursday could have been fatal, yet it wasn't and God showed me over and over after the event that HE was with my daughter and me and HE is the author of life and death and she will go when he says she will.

Our faith has been strengthened and so has the faith of the people that we have shared this story with. And the funny thing is...after I had become a Christian, I never quite understood the whole idea of Creationism verse evolution. Yet after I know that Jesus confirmed to me that HE is the author of life and death (Revelation 1:17) It made me look at this world through all new eyes.

and that is the amazing thing about Revelation.

and again my other daughter's Bible verse for this week is: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20

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